Tears
by Ravenous Silentside
Summary: .::Part Five up::. Its finally over. A conclusion finale between Raven x Van. pls R and R
1. deny

**Tears**

**| by Ravenous |**

_Wee, first time I decided to use html for ffnet. (So if it looks sloppy, yeah, justifiable) This is also my first poem ficcie, one shot, according to Raven's P.O.V as he falls for who else :) but Van. There is a story in it, and I'm wondering if making it as a one shot is a good idea. I feel there will be a continuation, like Van's answer to Raven's personal conflict. Bleh. What do you people think? _

-----

I made a vow long ago;  
No mortal eye shall ever behold my weeping, ever.  
A pity.  
  
You happened to me.  
  
You stood alone, quietly watching me  
In the guise of a comrade, yet with the eyes of a stranger  
"Look away," I whispered,  
"And don't pretend you care."  
  
Despite my heart's pretense of anger,  
You were witness to the truth in my bidding;  
A frail, vulnerable child without pride  
A scarred soul sheltered by wrathful demeanor  
  
You came to your feet---and touched me.  
Your fingers dared graze the face of a beast  
And I denied your warmth  
False compassion, I did not need.  
  
What a profound sight it was!  
Two souls so distant in mind and heart,  
Yet----together.  
Madness. Yes, that was what it was.  
  
It was all too comforting  
I, a menace to the common folk,  
_THE EPITOME OF ALL TWISTED HATRED  
_---cradled in the gentle arms of a familiar rival  
  
Not once have I sought refuge in my malicious quest  
And yet I found you  
  
Never have I thought twice in dispensing hurt and suffering  
And yet, I deny myself in your presence  
  
Did I deserve what you made me feel?  
Did I not cause you pain even once?  
Why did you do such a thing?  
  
Why mock my humility?!  
  
I was not ready for such emotion  
Perhaps, I will never be  
No feeble human sentiment must plague me  
I refuse to fall in love  
  
In another life time, perhaps  
Where I might be reborn to seek your warmth again  
But for now, forgive me  
  
Forgive me for the night I took your heart away...

-----

_I really do feel this has to be continued. Do you? If I get three reviews, then yeah. Need esteem boost, the poem is a result of some personal---erm--events ^^ *looks at review stats* -Ravenous  
_


	2. reply

**Tears   
02****.****::Reply to regret::.**

**| by Ravenous |**

_I finally thought about it, a Raven x Van poem fic without Van saying anything is totally---odd. Might as well post his reply while my angry creative ball is still churning. hehe.. Thanks for those who made reviews, (and sorry for the sarcasm, it can't be helped _ but I'm getting in a better mood now ^^)_

-----

Enfeebled I lie  
Catching the assault  
Of the night's freezing gale  
Images of your face  
Circle around my head,  
  
Looking so endearingly---  
  
Your likeness,  
Floats around my imaginary space  
Making me bleed inside.  
  
Fantasies of us  
Walking along the road  
Imbue my soul with a raging ache.  
  
I hate you  
For giving me false hopes of you  
Ever loving me  
  
I hate you for impaling me with,  
  
Your sharp words of denunciation  
  
I hate you   
  
For making me love you so much

-----

_Huh? It sounds like another cliff hanger, I think I shall post a couple of their 'conversations' hehe.. poems are easier to update n________n;; Surprisingly this piece of writing was inspired after I get another online lash back from an ex-friend. Weird I say. *points at stats O.o* -Ravenous_


	3. Realization

**Tears   
03.::Realization::. **

**| by Ravenous |**

_This is starting to feel like those ye olde english plays O_o; But like I say, poems are easier to write. At this chapter, Raven starts to feel resentment. It seems it is more than Van's confession that triggered him. Wee---go mad creative energy ball, you._

-----  
  
Was saying goodbye was easier than loving me?  
Did it hurt you to love someone like me?  
Was the ache so great that you had to lie and say you don't love me?  
Were you so afraid to show what your heart told you  
that you've covered any trace of what we've shared  
And walked away from me without shedding a tear?  
  
I can still taste your lips  
I can still feel your caresses  
and the warmth of your embrace  
The fragrance of your hair lingers..  
My senses are filled with the memories of you,  
Memories I'd rather forget  
  
Even my dreams betray me  
I hear your voice echoing in my head..  
  
"I hate you...I hate your for making me love you so much."  
  
Your eyes were distressed deep into me  
And your lips curled up into a small frown,  
That hurting look that no sane man could forget.  
  
I've never fallen in and out of love  
I've never known how it was supposed to feel  
Moments of happiness pass so quickly,  
Barely giving me a chance to cherish them  
  
Before they become nothing more than memories  
  
  
If only the pain would disappear just as swiftly...

  
But then the feeling never could fade easily...  
  
  
I think this suffering and misery, this guilt within me....is finally love?

-----

_This is dedicated to Jujang/December/Hakusen for being there in my LJ during my angsty moments o_o; and to Plink-san also for the helpful comments and to everyone else as well who read my works ^^ - Ravenous_


	4. Void in your eyes

**Tears  
04 .::Void in your eyes::.  
  
| by Ravenous |  
**  
_  
Note: hmm _ just two chapters more and its done. Van still cares even by Raven's bitter rejection. Raven   
realized the regret of his action and that he did like Van the way he also respects him, yada yada. What will be   
the ending? I don't know, but Im not sure if its happy @@;;;  
_  
-----  
  
When I look into your eyes,  
The evening sky stares back at me,  
Filled with faintly blinking stars  
And an ivory moon shining with anxiousness  
  
  
In those moments I am lost,  
Stumbling blindly in the thrall of your gaze  
Without doubt nor fear,  
I surrender my whole to you  
  
  
Faster and faster I fall endlessly  
Deeper and deeper into your succulent embrace  
Never have I wanted to lose myself more  
Only by being lost in you do I find myself  
  
  
If only I can stay forever in this silence,  
Within the calm of your darkness  
But no, never, not within you can I endure,  
This serenity you trap me in is cold--  
As cold as your emptiness.  
  
-----  
  
_Eep. kinda short -.-'' Im getting lazy always at Van's P.O.V. I enjoy making Raven's :)  
_


	5. Justify

**Tears   
05.::Justify::. **

**| by Ravenous |**

_Finally this stuff is over. This might be well the 'story of my angst that inspired me O_o' Raven finally answers and have given the conclusion, and why this is called 'Tears'. One down, few more fics-on-hiatus to go __

-----  
  
Society is unforgiving  
Perhaps that's how hollow means love to me  
Mistaken of every sentiment you had  
Love was never like that  
  
I am not stupid to think of what should be or not  
Yes, I deserve every consequence that pierced my soul...  
  
Yet here I am, standing still  
Watching every moment  
Feeling your every beat  
Allowing things to pass me by  
Whether it hurts or not  
  
Tears run through my eyes  
Pain sears through my veins  
My heart, filled with angst  
Not to mention those things  
That's been said and done  
  
All for this, they say it's the dumbest idea that got into me  
I knew that, but still, freedom led me into a deeper trap  
  
Bitterness was not a thought, nor did I feel it  
  
I am here because I choose this---to be here with you  
  
To fall for you is not my choice  
To fight for you is---and so I shall.  
  
Love is not meant to be made painless and without sorrow  
Its made up of sacrifices and struggles  
  
The sweet taste comes afterwards---  
  
The sweet hereafter..  
  
  
-THE END-


End file.
